Our Time
What is it about love that makes me want to just stab myself in the heart? It's the one place that I know no girl can ever stay...
Love, it's definition according to Merriam-Webster Online is: a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Along with this are many other definitions, but for some reason I can't even believe this to be an affection anymore, it just feels like pain mixed with hate and fear. Knowing that there's one person there for you, no matter what that's what's promised, someone to be there to hold you, kiss you... and make all your pain ease away so you can spend each night prattling on about your desire and hopes for the future. It just seems like... that if this was true, than one wouldn't just toss this word around no doubt? Like it's some kind of useful conjunction that they can shove in other peoples faces, showing it off as a competition and not for what it really is.
What is it really though? Is it really what these people define it as, or is it just mindless banter? Something to throw in your chat about some type of cutlet you've had for lunch. Well, we can't put it in that situation exactly, but what I do know is that when most people say "I love you," they don't mean it, they just can't. Knowing someone for a period of a week, and believing that there is something emotionally bonding to the two of you, thinking you'll stay that way forever...
For some reason, I just can't believe it... it's a failed test, there's something about my life that just won't let a true love in, something that can't make things right in this crazy pit of Hell I'm in. It's welcomed into my heart, open arms and open soul... only to be crushed and misled by something I believe is true love. They say I'll be theirs forever, but how long is forever really? The way we put it now, forever is only a nanosecond compared to the age of the universe. Only lasting a short while until it's ship is sailed, moving on to bigger and better things... leaving you broken, shattered on your floor.
But when I told you, "I love you" I meant it for the rest of my life, and from the bottom of my heart I know it'll never turn out the way I want it to be. It will just be broken, forgotten, and a desolate area in my heart and memory... along with yours. I can't get it off of my mind, just get up and move along with your life. Forget me and all my hopes and dreams, forget our laughs our smiles, are hopes... and our dreams. Forget everything, and just leave me to rot alone and heartbroken for the rest of eternity.
Siobhan
I agree with "someone," you do say your i love you's a little soon, I think. Not that I have any right to talk, I do it, too. Not a week, but a month or two usually. Though I don't view it as impossible as "someone" does to stay with someone from your highschool. There's nothing wrong with that, it happens all the time, but it probably just won't happen at your age, no offense. You're still very young and angsty. Ever heard the saying don't put all your eggs in one basket? Just don't place all of your hopes into the hands of the next girl you fall in love with. It's okay to hope and dream of forever, but don't get too carried away.
Have a good day, Austin ^_^
posted on 21/04/2008 at 08:36