Forget
I can't forget... why can't I forget?
To be friends, I'd have to forget everything that happened, every little thing we did. I have to forget the cute face she made when I stared into her beautiful eyes, the times we would see each other all day, and the way I would forget everything but her. I can't get it out of my head... and every time I think of it, I burst out in tears.
Obsession... it's what my therapist said I get about things. I totally relate to it. I can see why neither relationship worked out, you know? I feel like my partner didn't care for me as much as I cared for them. That's not true, but it is nerve wrecking. I can't help but feel lonely now, like I'm never going to be able to do the things we promised. No building a love child at build-a-bear, no going to the movies, and no kissing, cuddling, or hand holding. I'm going to miss her, more than anything I've ever lost.
Jackie
Austin, you are like the extreme edge of me. I care way too much about others, and about what they do for me. I think too much about everything also, if I let myself. I got very lucky in that I did once have a relationship where we did care equally for each other. It came out of nowhere. I wasn't looking for love. Love found me. I think you're searching too hard. I searched too hard once. Once I stopped, things fell into place for me. I can't say I'm the happiest I've ever been. In fact, I'd say I'm far from. But, he gives me hope. Sometimes, that is worth the wait. Patience, Austin.
I miss you.
posted on 16/03/2008 at 20:58